I don’t know about you but I am just palpitating with excitement that the Olympics are almost here.

I am excited because NBC has been telling me I should be excited because they began promoting The Olympics about 3 years ago and even I can get whipped into a frenzy over anything in that amount of time.

This event is when the world comes together. Instead of hurling WMDs against each other, countries settle for more down-to- earth missiles like javelins and discuses (proper pluralization?)

The event gets bigger every year as new sports are added. Women’s tae kwon bowling is a new one this year. Men's Full Contact Yahtzee is in and America is favored to win the gold.

When I was a kid, it took one network about 3 nights a week to cover everything. The only drama was whether the US or Soviet Union would win the most gold medals. Medal totals meant more when we had nuclear tipped ICBMs aimed at each other. Those pesky Bulgarians might get a bronze at something like archery, but it was pretty much an Us versus Them drama.

There will be plenty of stuff to watch on TV. With all the new sports (armed kayaking, anyone?), it takes NBC and 6 cable networks to handle almost 16,000 hours of coverage.

Actually, I plan to ignore the whole thing. Beijing was a dumb place to stage the event. Athletes will be competing in one of the world's most polluted cities.

“And now for the 40 yard gas-mask dash!”.

Besides, it wasn't that long ago China was running over its students with tanks. Now they are the main reason our gas prices are so high- so China can kiss my keyster.

I suppose I'll use the TV to see if I am still smarter than a 5^th grader. You think?